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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong