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Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
4 out of 5 dentists agree that 1 out of 5 dentists is just doing it for the attention.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
I`ve just invented an invisibility cloak; anything under it is rendered completely invisible. I`m still working out the kinks; you can still see the cloak itself
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
No need to blind fold me, just hand me my phone and drive, I won`t have a clue how to get back here
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?