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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you`ll get if you "fall asleep right now".
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.