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If I could be anyone else in the whole world, I would still be me so that I wouldn`t have to buy new clothes.
Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
Valentines day
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
My wife woke up with a HUGE smile on her face this morning. I love sharpies.
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.