Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
We welcome the Christmas season at my house by putting out more towels that I am not allowed to touch
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?