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The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
If you’re going to walk really slowly in front of me you should at least have the courtesy to have a slammin booty.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.