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The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
I love hearing rumors about me...that`s how I find out what I`ve been doing.
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
This recliner and I go way back.
*during sex,I suddenly stop moving* Her: What are you doing? Me: SHHHHH It`s ok...I saw this on Pornhub, It`s called Buffering!
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
Chillin: the art of doing nothing without being bored.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!