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Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn`t in a band anymore.
Can`t afford P90X or INSANITY workout videos? Go find a wasp nest and slap the sh!t out of it. Never knew I could shadow box,bicycle kick,and twirl while floating.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about