Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Doctor told me I need glasses. So I`m having several tonite.
Tequila... cuz the bed isn`t goin to spin itself!
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head.
When someone looks over my shoulder while I`m on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
On demand sucks. Hoarders made me fill up the dumpster and clean the house. Now I want to collect coupons and go to the pawn shop....
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.