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Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.