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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
When a man says he`ll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
In life you will meet all sorts of people, happy, moody, shy, loud, weird, and then there`s me So deal with it mmuhaaaaaaaahaaahaaaa that`s right !