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All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
If I was a cab driver I`d yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.