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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it ;)
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.