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Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
My girlfriend said we can`t hang out this weekend because she doesn`t really exist.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
I am not as think as you drunk I am
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder.
I`m glad it`s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the sh!t I should be doing.
Passive aggressive has never been my thing, I prefer chasing you with a chainsaw.
Good for you, people that do things.
Why hasn`t anyone written a sequal song to "Jessie`s Girl" ... Where he discovers what an incredible high maintenance drag she is?
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.