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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
Wine: How classy people get trashed.
Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
sex is like a joke, some get it some don`t.....
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.