Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
I love how people say they`re "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
Hire a hitman is apparently not the correct answer to "what would you do if you won the lottery"
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
As it turns out, Iām not an afternoon person either.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
Today I saw a girl with the word "Anel" on her butt. I was like, woah..it`s supposed to say "Anal"..it`s spelled wrong then I realized it was supposed to say "Angel". The G was stuck in her a$$crack
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.