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the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
I am out of wine, so I ate a bag of grapes and threw myself down the stairs.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
Good for you, people that do things.
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”