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Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
There’s no worse feeling than realizing your wife has fallen asleep & you’ve spent the last 20 minutes watching Real Housewives by yourself.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.