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I`m at my most relaxed around dogs and prescription drugs.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Million dollar idea: Alarm clock that releases spiders... NOW you`re up.
All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
I think...therefore, I am.....single
There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press “door close” in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
I’ve noticed the less open-minded someone is, the more open-mouthed they tend to be.
People who say "Don`t mix drugs with alcohol"" ... they`re stupid, right?
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)