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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What`s your point?
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!