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Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
If you can`t handle me at my worst, then that sucks because that`s all there is to me.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.