Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to a wedding rehearsal this weekend. Wedding rehearsals are the only time you see someone practice making a mistake.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
There is a special place in hell for people who are not ready to order when it`s their turn.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
RIP to my hair dryer. It was the only thing to blow me for the last 10 years and never complain.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.