Daily Silly Status

Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."

I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after

It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.

Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.

The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.

I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.

Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.

It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!

Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.

Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.

I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!

If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they`ve been drinking in order to establish dominance.

So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.

Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. I did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. I did nothing for 25 hours!

When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.