Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason I drink wasn`t there
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.