Daily Silly Status

I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.

The only thing I love more than cake is cakes.

Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.

It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.

I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?

Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet

So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book

The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.

I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."

It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try.

Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.

Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.

Walmart has their new Savings Catcher app... I`m thinking savings isn`t the only thing you will catch ...

Thanksgiving: "Let`s give thanks for the stuff we have." Black Friday: "Ok, let`s get all new stuff."

The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.