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Can you imagine if Facebook just decided to shut down and you see all these confused teenagers coming out of their house squinting at the sun/
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
If I tell you I can`t text you because I`m driving it`s only because I`m also eating.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I’d drink a lot less alcohol if a lot less alcohol got me drunk.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That`s like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.