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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Alcohol – The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance “medicine.”
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.