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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
My alarm clock is clearly jelouse of my amazing relationship with my bed.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside