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The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????
Taught a man how to buy fish ... So much easier.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
I have the ability to drive people crazy. I`m not sure if I was born with it or if I learned it. But damn am I great at it.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don`t know Netflix exists."