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I took a sexual harassment course yesterday...I think I`m going to be pretty good at it.
My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.