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She might be ugly now, but wait a few more drinks.
Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
I know you think you´re interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
I just found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock,,,, people expect less of you.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
Don`t put off until tomorrow what you can avoid the rest of your life.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.