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Pizza: nah, Sex: eh, Drinking: no thanks, It`s so hard thinking of what to give up for Lent...
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
I went to McDonalds, put 5 dollars on the counter and said "Surprise me". Because I never get what I ask for anyway!
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
I`d probably get a lot more done if it wasn`t for me.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
I’d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!