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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
I suffer from paranoia and procrastination. Everyone is out to get me, just not right now.
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
The awkward moment when you set something down for a second and it disappears off the face of the earth.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
Condoms prevent minivans.
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about