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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
I can`t afford a therapist so i bought a mood ring
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?