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I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Sometimes I like to play God and just ignore everyone when they talk to me.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
I`m so good, I scream my own name out during sex.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.