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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.