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I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
I`m 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.