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Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
Chip clips are for quitters.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.