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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Iām actually not funny. Iām just really mean and people think Iām joking.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.