Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.
Apparently asking girl scouts which cookie pairs nicely with whiskey is inappropriate....
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.