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All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
Since I`m getting older I`ve been thinking about my health. Should I work out 2 hrs a day like Jack Lalanne who was 96? Or smoke cigars like George Burns who lived to be 100?
I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.
I sent off for some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over.