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Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.