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That awkward moment when your screen freezes on a really embarrassing website
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
The only part I like about doing laundry is saying I`ve got a big load
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It`s definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job...
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
50 years ago you had to get really f*cking drunk to drop your phone in a urinal.
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?