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This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
Guys, Everyone. Listen. I`m going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
My favorite beer is the next one.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
I bet strippers look forward to that feeling of getting home and wearing a bra after a long day at work.
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.