Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I like you as a friend. Well, more like as a friend of a friend.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
Girls who don`t get naked when you`re drunk.. Explain yourselves.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.