Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
My sleep number is 100 proof.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
You never really know if you`re over someone until you`re in the car and they`re in the crosswalk.
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.