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On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
Sorry I’m cranky. I didn’t get my nap in today.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somebody whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
Someday, somewhere, somehow I’m going to do something.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
They should make Vodka ChapStick
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.