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I’d be more motivated to work out if the stationary bikes had a little basket to hold my snacks and beer.
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
"How many people work at your company?" About half of them.
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
A month ago I gave my number to this beautiful girl. She said "I will text you when I get home". I think she`s homeless.
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.