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Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
Better late than pregnant.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
Hold on I`m about to count my money. Alright I`m done.