Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
That awkward moment when you make a Harry Potter reference and none of your Muggle friends get it.
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
I still sing my ABC’s to see which letter comes first.
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.