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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
Hello 911? Do you think i`m pretty?
I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
I`m no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
The awkward moment when someone say "I gotta use the restroom.... Never mind."