Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My doctor told me to stop drinking...Then he told me to stop laughing.
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.