Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I`m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
What`s wrong with having your mind in the gutter all the time?! If it weren`t for the gutter, my mind would be homeless!!!
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.