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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke