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ah Saturday, where it`s socially acceptable to drink in the morning. ;)
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed, not my fault they dont have windows ...
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point
Did we try giving the government a snickers?