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I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.