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I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
In my experience, temporary insanity can last a long time.
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.