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Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it’s the ones we love that hurt us the most.
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
Why has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
My girlfriend is gorgeous, selfless, graceful, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.