Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
Don`t hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I`m thankful for pizza and burgers... and ice cream and bacon and fries and... F*ck it, I`m thankful for food. I love you, food.
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.
I just made my first snow angel!! ... Ok fine.. I got bored, got drunk and then passed out in the snow, whatever!
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.