Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
I don’t want to go to work. There are people there.
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it`s the scientists that aren`t washing their hands?
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
Condoms prevent minivans.
If you`re sad/single/both on valentines day just remember you can buy 40 chicken nuggets at McDonald`s for $8.99