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"Ramen." - Scooby Doo finishing a prayer.
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor`s trash so you don`t get robbed.
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
How do you make your wife scream during sex?? Call her and tell her about it.